Friday, May 15, 2009


What do you do when the battle is won?

That’s all I know how to do, is battle. With doctors, specialists, teachers. Knowing in my heart, something is not right. He never sleeps, he won’t eat.

Where are my cuddles my son?

Years of searching, arguing. Years of doctors telling you your child is just ADHD. Medications will fix him. So I feed this frail little boy with more medication, and watch as the fear for the outside world gets worse.
The bullying at school.
The struggle to read, and write.
The struggles to see the world as others do,
To fit in when there was no place to fit.
No matter we love him just the same. The years pass, the battle goes on.
Another referral.
Another specialist. Maybe this time will be different someone says, one of the best in his field they say. So I spend the rent money and walk on, in hopeful optimism.

A nice man, softly spoken, he asks the questions that I have answered a thousand times before. But this feels different as he presses for details that were not asked before. I rack my brain to remember the little things that got blurred in the background of sleepless days and nights from long ago.

Finally he puts down his pen, studies his notes, studies the referrals from various psychologists and says your son has Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Thank you I say, with my hands in my lap. I remember the early years when I knew in my heart that this was it. I remember the doctors that said no, that’s not it. Not worth considering. So on I walked in hopeful optimism. On, through the years. To this quiet spoken man.
Yes, he says this is the answer, it has always been the answer.

The battle is won.

Now the journey begins.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Being A Mum

This picture was sent to me via an email.. I don't know

where the origional came from, but have to share it.

This is pricless.


Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith

The Boy Who Only Seeks A Friend

The school holidays are drawing to a close and life in the Billington/Palmer household will again return to some sort of normality. Life in Spiers Place, Middle Swan will feel secure in the knowledge that one child will again be contained within the boundaries of school walls, small children will again be able to roam free for a few hours of the day. Police visits will die down and neighbors will refrain from treading a path to my door. The neighborhood will return to a time of peace and serenity for the majority of the day.

Alas, the boy only wishes for a friend to play with. Does he understand that grabbing someone by the throat, in a play fight does not count as a sign of affection? I ask him. Why did you do that my son? He answers, because they were mean to me mum, not even contemplating the consequences of such an action.

However, another day dawns and the boy continues on his quest, forgotten are the torments of the previous day, the names and pebbles that persecute him. He lives to fight another day, secure in the knowledge that mum will save the day.

We love him so, the wayward boy that only seeks a friend. Someone to understand the torment that seeks him out, and love him all the while. Seek on my boy, one day someone will come and ask to play. Until then I will be your friend and always ask to play.

So it continues, the life of the boy that only seeks a friend.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Things About Me

I would like to be taller. .
I have 3 children.
I am the eldest of 4 siblings.
I am 3rd oldest in my family.
I was the first woman dredge operator in Australia
I love to buy designer shoes from second hand shops
I love to buy designer handbags from second hand shops
I think I just LOVE secondhand shops.
I dislike people who think they are smarter than others
When I was 10 I tried smoking cane because I had no money for cigarettes, I was sick as a dog.
I don’t have a favourite colour
If there is a path, I like to follow it rather than cut across the grass.
I always have the TV on in the background.
I like to write but do not find it comes naturally to me.
I like to read non-fiction of any description.
I love second hand bookstores.
I used to be bullied at school until my dad taught me how to fight dirty.
I love the idea for self-sufficiency but am too lazy to do it well.
I could easily live as a hermit so long as I had central heating, internet access, and cable TV.
I do not particularly like children between the ages of 7 and 13years of age.
I have three children,
I have two dogs,
I have one cat
I have one mentally deranged bird.
I love windy days.
I have discovered that, getting food poisoning is REALLY unpleasant.
I love to make jewelry.
I love the stillness of early morning.
Digital photography is one of my favourite pastimes.
The kiln in my shed has not been fired up for 2 years. . . . SHAMEFUL
Confrontation makes me uncomfortable.
People say I’m outgoing but I’m really quite reserved.
When I was 18 I travelled from Melbourne to Perth on a child’s ticket because I didn’t have enough money to get home. (inconsequential, but Hey)
I have been a widow for 10 years on October 30 2008.