Friday, May 15, 2009


What do you do when the battle is won?

That’s all I know how to do, is battle. With doctors, specialists, teachers. Knowing in my heart, something is not right. He never sleeps, he won’t eat.

Where are my cuddles my son?

Years of searching, arguing. Years of doctors telling you your child is just ADHD. Medications will fix him. So I feed this frail little boy with more medication, and watch as the fear for the outside world gets worse.
The bullying at school.
The struggle to read, and write.
The struggles to see the world as others do,
To fit in when there was no place to fit.
No matter we love him just the same. The years pass, the battle goes on.
Another referral.
Another specialist. Maybe this time will be different someone says, one of the best in his field they say. So I spend the rent money and walk on, in hopeful optimism.

A nice man, softly spoken, he asks the questions that I have answered a thousand times before. But this feels different as he presses for details that were not asked before. I rack my brain to remember the little things that got blurred in the background of sleepless days and nights from long ago.

Finally he puts down his pen, studies his notes, studies the referrals from various psychologists and says your son has Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Thank you I say, with my hands in my lap. I remember the early years when I knew in my heart that this was it. I remember the doctors that said no, that’s not it. Not worth considering. So on I walked in hopeful optimism. On, through the years. To this quiet spoken man.
Yes, he says this is the answer, it has always been the answer.

The battle is won.

Now the journey begins.